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RETIRED, SEE YA!
Music video blog that also includes video, audio, and interactive media. You'll find some reviews and recommendations from the underground of the entertainment world, covering music, film, gaming, and more.
Rummaging through the interweb since 2010

21 March, 2011

Most Annoying Artist of the Year Award

The past year has been abundant with bands and musicians that have blown away our minds, ears and eyes with their "art". And we don't mean that in a good way. We were inspired by a Nat Geo show in which the deadliest creature in Australia was determined according to how well the animal did on 1) venom 2) chance of contact with humans 3) attitude & 4) death toll.


So, since terrible music is just as deadly as (if not deadlier than) venomous creatures down under, good old Heavy G suggested we present a Most Annoying Artist of the Year award based on precise calculations. We've narrowed down the list to five of the most distinguished mainstream artists: Ke$ha, Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, Akon, & The Black-Eyed Peas. Over the course of one long overnight, we will be subjecting each of said artists to a rigorous examination in order to determine the level of their annoyance. We will be using the following criteria to evaluate our least favorite five:

1) Exposure: how often the artist is on the radio/television/playlist at your average Beiruti pub or club.
2) Musical Tastelessness: will it make you want to violently stab yourself in the ears?
3) Vocal Annoyance: auto-tune won't save you this time.
4) Appearance: how close to a clown does this particular artist look? (Zero being decent looking and 10 being monstrous)
5) Artistic Credibility: does this artist actually have some degree of talent? (Zero being very talented and 10 being disastrous) 
& 6) Lyrics: this one is quite self-explanatory. (Zero being acceptable and 10 being flat out ridiculous)

Now to begin our evaluation.

Ke$ha probably the most talentless and annoying skank around
Exposure: 8 out of 10 (Heavy G actually once got a request for a Ke$ha song while DJing at a party)
Musical Tastelessness: 9 out of 10
Vocal Annoyance: 9 out of 10
Appearance: 5 out of 10 (Heavy G would still hit that)
Artistic Credibility: 10 out of 10 (Way to go!)
Lyrics: 10 out of 10 ("But now that I'm famous, you're up my anus"? Seriously?)
Total Score: 51 out of 60


Justin Bieber we just can't seem to understand this strange phenomenon
Exposure: 9 out of 10
Musical Tastelessness: 9 out of 10
Vocal Annoyance: 8 out of 10
Appearance: 8 out of 10 (Only because some children might find him attractive. We think he's hideous)
Artistic Credibility: 7 out of 10 
Lyrics: 8 out of 10
Total Score: 48 out of 60




Lady Gaga some think she's creative, we just think she's annoying as hell
Exposure: 10 out of 10
Musical Tastelessness: 9 out of 10
Vocal Annoyance: 9 out of 10
Appearance: 10 out of 10 (Heavy G says he wouldn't touch her with a 10 foot pole. Meat dress, really?)
Artistic Credibility: 4 out of 10 (For being kind of smart, kind of talented, and having a conceptual thing going on)
Lyrics: 10 out of 10 ("Rah rah roma ma Gaga ooh-lala" the list is endless)
Total Score: 52 out of 60


Akon can you stop coming to Lebanon already?!
Exposure: 9 out of 10 (he's been around forever and still going on strong)
Musical Tastelessness: 9 out of 10
Vocal Annoyance: 10 out of 10
Appearance: 4 out of 10
Artistic Credibility: 7 out of 10
Lyrics: 7 out of 10
Total Score: 47 out of 60



Black-Eyed Peas what happened to these guys?
Exposure: 10 out of 10
Musical Tastelessness: 9 out of 10
Vocal Annoyance: 8 out of 10
Appearance: 6 out of 10
Artistic Credibility: 8 out of 10 (extra points for being sellouts)
Lyrics: 9 out of 10
Total Score: 48 out of 60


Our big winner: Lady Gag! or Gaga, whatever you like.


Honorable Mention:
Bruno Mars, Miley Cyrus, Rebecca Black (seriously, check this one out), and of course, the ever-annoying Britney Spears! No list would be complete without her. To those we left out, apologies. Not everyone is a winner! Readers, please feel free to add your own picks.

3 comments:

  1. hahahahaahahahaa!! love it!

    but u know we love lady "gag" on those friday nights :P

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  2. this is pure perfection! i just can't wait for the moment when lady caca will just go away, most overrated bitch ever!
    i think maroon 5 should have made it to the honorable mention list....everytime 'moves like jagger' is playing i feel like cutting my wrists..i think adam levine has a repressed sexual interest in mick jagger and i'm not overstating it

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  3. @Anonymous We're glad you enjoyed the list! Fortunately, Maroon 5 were on a hiatus when this list was made.

    We will definitely be considering them next year though ;)

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